You Plan, God LOLs

When I was in high school, I pretty much had my life planned out. Or so I thought. I would go to college, find the woman I would marry, graduate, go to law school, become a prosecutor, and live a nice stable life. Well currently, the only things from this list that have actually happened is that I went to college and I graduated.

And while some would say that attending and graduating a university is a great accomplishment, right now it doesn't really feel that way. I decided to take a break from school and get some work experience. I wanted to start making my own money and start actually living life. Travel. Rent an apartment with my best friend. Basically, just do whatever I want to do and not worry about studying or reading a text book.

Turns out, I probably should have just went straight to law school. I can't get a job. I can't get a job. Get a job, I can't.

I cannot tell you how frustrating this is. I knew my major wasn't the best thing in the world, but dang. I graduated from one of the top universities in my state. Hell, in America. Still can't get a job.

This hurts. It's been over six months since I graduated, and my pride is still on the floor writhing in pain. I feel like a loser. There's no other way I can describe it. I'm a loser. I'm actively avoiding many of my friends and associates from college because I don't want to answer the inevitable questions of "So what have you been up to now? Are you working?" Ugh.

What I've learned in these past six months of being a bum is that graduating from an accredited college doesn't mean much in today's economy. You need work experience. Something I'm lacking. I have some volunteer experience, and I've done a couple of internships for three months, but apparently none of that is good enough. I thought I was fortunate that I could afford to go to college without working (thanks family) and just focus on my studies. Nope. Work experience matters.

I'm willing to work. I'm willing to learn and learn fast. But no one is currently taking a chance on me. I went to two job interviews, and they led nowhere. I'm angry. I'm ashamed. I'm a loser. Sigh, I'm beating up on myself, but this is honestly how I feel right now.

The best option for me may be to go back to school. But honestly? I'm just not in the mindset for school. I'm sick of it right now. Tired of reading text books and writing 9085048 papers about topics I don't care about. Shit I can't even date right now. Who wants a man with no job? I miss intimacy, but I feel so unworthy of it. Man I hope things get better soon.